Becoming Follicley Challenged
I'm a girl... in case you weren't aware from my blog pics, and this means I am pretty self conscious when it comes to the way I look. I grew up never being too confident in my looks so to add bald to the mix, well, Houston, we have a problem! Now like I have previously stated (reminded myself constantly more like) I am determined to see the positives and find the funny in this journey but when it came to losing my hair, eyebrows, eyelashes (and nose hair!), it took a while to develop.
I started chemo very quickly (diagnosis on Thursday, chemo on Friday) so in the short appointment I had in the morning before, I was given the War & Peace sized document with all the side effects. One of these stood out like a sore thumb - Hair Loss, guaranteed balding! At that moment, the breaks went on and Georgie went into overdrive. 'I can't be bald, I am too young to be bald, I am a girl, I just can't be bald.' It was at that moment, I told anyone who would listen, NO ONE WILL EVER SEE ME BALD.... Oh how that has changed! Nowadays, I frequently walk around looking like a small boiled potato.
On the evening before my first chemo, I had my first chop. I didn't know when my hair would start falling out so I wanted to be prepared. It wasn't drastic, but it was enough. Annoyingly I rather liked it, shame it all fell out!
**So this is me & my hair a month before diagnosis (you see from the smiles I was blissfully unaware of the rampaging cancer inside me):
The hunt for a wig was now on. In my adamant mind set that no one would see me bald, within a few days my mum & I went to a wig shop in London called Trendco. They were outstanding, I couldn't recommend them enough. I was in such a flap as trying on wigs when you still have hair is seriously disconcerting, obviously wigs don't look exactly like normal hair but it is a compromise. After spending hours there, I took 3 home - enter Kim, Khloe & Kourtney (don't judge me, we all secretly love the Kardashians):
If you are able, I would recommend going to a proper wig shop, they have a wealth of knowledge, you can try them on and they are understanding of your situation. You need to ask about real hair or synthetic, how you look after them, lace fronts and all that jazz so its really great going to someone who can patiently explain it.
It was on the day of my 2nd chemo that the inevitable happened. It wasn't how I expected either. It just started coming out in strands, I would run my hands through and show mum what I had collected as if I would get a prize! Instead I had my mum panicking, stop pulling it outtt!!!! By the time I left my 2nd chemo, I had left a little puddle of hair next to my chair! First it fell out in small amounts but over the coming week or 2 I really started to notice a difference. My hair thinned a great deal, my hair line receded, and I could start seeing parts of my scalp. I used social media a lot to see what others were doing to cope or at what stage they ‘braved the shave’ which really helped as you can reach out and get advice. Personally, I tried to hang on to my hair, I cut it shorter and wore lots of hats to disguise my hair loss!
*Under this hat was a whole lot of bald!
I really struggled mentally when my hair fell out, mum would come to my room in the morning and see me with a ball of hair in my hands just crying. She would scoop the hair out of my hands, put it in the bin, tie the bag, take the bag out and take it out of my room right away because out of sight out of mind right? My mum is incredible, she looks after me more than I could ever wish for but the one thing I will never forget is when I was at breaking point with my hair loss, she looked at me dead in the eyes and with full seriousness offered to shave her head. Looking back I wish I had made her now, reckon she would look quite amusing!! I did everything to prolong 'braving the shave' until there was no avoiding it, it was time for the clippers! This is what my hair was like when I plucked up the courage:
And this is me now and proud - full baldie, potato, old man's heel:
It was the most positive turning point in my journey, the minute the
hair was gone I felt like a new, positive and empowered individual! I felt like
I took back the control and a weight was lifted from my shoulders…. I only wish
I had shaved it sooner! It did take some getting used to though, I would frighten myself if I walked passed a mirror as it looked like a little old man as looking back... but you adjust quickly to this!
It isn't all doom and gloom, yes you lose your hair on your noggin but, you also lose it from many another location! Say goodbye to your wax appointments, so long to buying razors, adieu to the tweezers - you are now officially a dolphin! If I was allowed and had the energy, I would be giving Olympic swimmers a run for their money with how fast I would be gliding through that water! A fun fact for you all, after my 9th chemo I noticed I didn't have a single nose hair, not one! Also, I am the proud owner of about 52 forms of head wear. I am talking beanies, head scarves, turban, baker boys, fedoras, baseball caps! The choice is endless.
A few Top Tips From One Baldie To Another:
- If you have long hair, cut it shorter before it starts falling out. It will be much easier to manage.
- Keep your hair brushed! Use a wide tooth comb and gently brush your hair in the morning and afternoon. It is difficult as it may feel you are causing more hair to fall out but if you don't keep it brushed it will all matte together
- Sleep in a turban when your hair is falling out, in fact live in a turban! The turban will collect all your hair as it falls out, especially at night, and this will let you avoid waking up in something that resembles a nest! It's a must to wear whilst cooked, unless you like the taste of highlights? I got mine from SILKE London and it was the best purchase!
- Once you have braved that shave your noggin is about to get real cold! I don't understand how men walk around outside with bald heads, my god dam heroes. Invest in cozy beanies that aren't itchy.
- Don't forget to moisturize your new bald spot
- Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Whether it is taking control and braving the shave before its starts falling out or trying different styles and hats to make your hair last as long as possible! You do you!
- Wear wigs or don’t wear wigs – you are incredibly strong and beautiful!
And you look even more gorgeous bald, it's amazing, as you are Georgie!
ReplyDeleteI had stage 4 Hodgkin lymphoma - I was diagnosed when I was 15 and I can completely relate to the horrible realisation that my hair was going to fall out. It was all that I heard when they told me the diagnosis, as a fifteen year old girl it was all that mattered! I also refused to shave my head and held on to the three strands I had. I’d try and put them in a ponytail. It’s so nice to read something that I connect with in this way - thank you so much for sharing I am 12 years in remission now - but it’s an experience that has shaped the way I live my life. All the best with everything xx
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful with or without your hair. Inspiring posts Georgie!
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