The Inevitable Break Up Of Barry & I
The beginning of my cancer journey is somewhat unlike the norm. I have heard of horror stories where patients have been ignored by doctors for months, not taken seriously or misdiagnosed completely even though the patient was adamant they knew it was cancer. I was quite the opposite, in a short space of time I showed symptoms that ticked nearly every box of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma that when I went to the doctor, there was no messing around. My ever so enviable list of symptoms were:
I was very quickly sent for all the tests (bloods, FNA, chest x-ray, CT scan etc) and over the short 2 weeks this was happening, I was sure it was just a cold or at worst glandular fever! Even when the hospital called and said I must go in right away to get my results, I huffed and puffed as I was meant to be taking a lovely weekend away to Bath with my boyfriend and going into the hospital meant we would need to leave a few hours later than planned! Needless to say that trip didn't happen. I can remember vividly the moment it dawned on me that maybe it wasn't 'just' an infection. Sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, my Dad looked at me and said 'I think you need to prepare yourself for the worst here.' That was it, reluctantly I saw the seriousness in the situation. And just like that, I was told I had Lymphoma. I am not too sure the news really sunk in with me, the doctor and my dad paused waiting for the tears, but I think I was still just in disbelief and denial.
The following week was when Barry & I would break up our rather short & unpleasant relationship. Even though I felt like I had grown an alien on my neck, I am undoubtedly so thankful of Barry. If he hadn't arrived, I wouldn't have bothered with my doctors appointment and I would have had a rather different outcome. At the Royal Marsden (where I am treated) I had a biopsy to remove Barry and another swollen lymph node to figure out the type of Lymphoma, the stage and the treatment plan.
In the few days of waiting for my results, I was told I would have a few weeks before starting chemotherapy to prepare myself and also to save some eggs, as the treatment can leave you with fertility problems. This didn't quite go to plan! On the Thursday after being told I had Lymphoma, I got a call to say it was Stage 4 Hodgkin's Lymphoma and one of the masses was pressing badly on my major airway so this meant I needed to go to the hospital to start steroids that afternoon because I was starting Chemotherapy the next day!
I don't want to pretend like all of this didn't knock me down because it did, it took the wind out of my sails completely but I think the sheer speed in which being told I had cancer to my first chemo was so fast, I didn't have time to process it. I didn't have time to flap and fuss (which is what I do best I might add), it was all systems go, strap that helmet on because you're in for a bumpy ride!!
- Night sweats
- Weight loss
- Fever
- Flu-like grossness
- Fatigue
- Itching
I was very quickly sent for all the tests (bloods, FNA, chest x-ray, CT scan etc) and over the short 2 weeks this was happening, I was sure it was just a cold or at worst glandular fever! Even when the hospital called and said I must go in right away to get my results, I huffed and puffed as I was meant to be taking a lovely weekend away to Bath with my boyfriend and going into the hospital meant we would need to leave a few hours later than planned! Needless to say that trip didn't happen. I can remember vividly the moment it dawned on me that maybe it wasn't 'just' an infection. Sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, my Dad looked at me and said 'I think you need to prepare yourself for the worst here.' That was it, reluctantly I saw the seriousness in the situation. And just like that, I was told I had Lymphoma. I am not too sure the news really sunk in with me, the doctor and my dad paused waiting for the tears, but I think I was still just in disbelief and denial.
The following week was when Barry & I would break up our rather short & unpleasant relationship. Even though I felt like I had grown an alien on my neck, I am undoubtedly so thankful of Barry. If he hadn't arrived, I wouldn't have bothered with my doctors appointment and I would have had a rather different outcome. At the Royal Marsden (where I am treated) I had a biopsy to remove Barry and another swollen lymph node to figure out the type of Lymphoma, the stage and the treatment plan.
In the few days of waiting for my results, I was told I would have a few weeks before starting chemotherapy to prepare myself and also to save some eggs, as the treatment can leave you with fertility problems. This didn't quite go to plan! On the Thursday after being told I had Lymphoma, I got a call to say it was Stage 4 Hodgkin's Lymphoma and one of the masses was pressing badly on my major airway so this meant I needed to go to the hospital to start steroids that afternoon because I was starting Chemotherapy the next day!
I don't want to pretend like all of this didn't knock me down because it did, it took the wind out of my sails completely but I think the sheer speed in which being told I had cancer to my first chemo was so fast, I didn't have time to process it. I didn't have time to flap and fuss (which is what I do best I might add), it was all systems go, strap that helmet on because you're in for a bumpy ride!!
You are such a star. So brave xx
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